30.6.10

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I never do self portraits. To be honest, I'm quite afraid of being in front of the camera. I consider myself an extremely awkward person and that typically seems to reflect on film.

However I thought little these shots reflect everything that's been going on in my crazy, whirlwind head recently.

I'm told it's during your college years when you really start to "become" the person you're meant to be. As of late, I have no idea who this person is. On top of that, I have no idea who the person I want to be even is.

I'm probably the only one that thinks that even makes sense.

I've just been going back and forth between so many subjects and beliefs and values that I'm starting to lose myself in this void. Slipping, slipping, slipping. Who am I? What makes you who you are? Your experiences? Your beliefs? Your actions? The people in which you surround yourself? It seems in life we all all mirrors of each other, reflecting pieces of our essential selves and sending them dancing about like a ray of light through a glass prism. I am currently trying to grasp these traits as they float, but I'm afraid I'm losing them.

I'm trying to find them and take hold again.

My name is Meagan. Reading and taking photos make me happier than anything. I'm surrounded by the most wonderful people imaginable. Someday, I want to open a little bookstore like Meg Ryan's in You've Got Mail (with coffee and cakes and photos and the like too). I have a slight obsession with John Keats and Harry Potter. I have a boyfriend named Matt, who makes me feel like I'm home. I listen to a lot of Coconut Records, James Taylor, Iron & Wine, Frank Sinatra, The Decemberists and Regina Spektor. I love to learn. I like large windows and mason jars. I will never, ever judge you. My family is creative and talented and hilarious and wonderful. I had a father named Michael, who taught me how to think and live and see the world in different ways. I'm clumsy and unbelievably socially awkward. I'm a barista at a wonderful coffee shop filled with wonderful people. I've been in love. I'm alone a lot [but not lonely].


7 comments:

Lauren July 1, 2010 at 9:42 AM  

I really like this post, Megan! I like the way you write, and I think the self-portraits are really successful. And I totally know what you mean, I just took a photography class where we had to do one self-portrait per day and it was really challenging for me.

Your photos are awesome! You're awesome!

-Lauren Gunter

Lauren July 1, 2010 at 9:43 AM  

Anddd I spelled your name wrong. Perfect.

talk about socially awkward.

Anonymous,  July 1, 2010 at 11:12 AM  

Meagan, It is totally and absolutely fine that you don't know "who" you are yet, Im going to be a junior this year and I still have no idea as to "who" or "what" I want to be. Any waaays, I love/miss you, and when you read this, you should text me, cause I have not seen you in a couple of months, and thats heart breaking, so lets get coffee or snowcones, or go on an adventure !

Love, Courtney Rodrigues
P.S. You and your photos are beautiful as always :)

Anonymous,  July 1, 2010 at 11:13 AM  

Meagan, It is totally and absolutely fine that you don't know "who" you are yet, Im going to be a junior this year and I still have no idea as to "who" or "what" I want to be. Any waaays, I love/miss you, and when you read this, you should text me, cause I have not seen you in a couple of months, and thats heart breaking, so lets get coffee or snowcones, or go on an adventure !

Love, Courtney Rodrigues
P.S. You and your photos are beautiful as always :)

HelloBlaine July 1, 2010 at 1:46 PM  

Oh Meagan, these pictures leave me silent around my head, they have created a peace just by looking at them! It's strange how quiet my thoughts have become just by looking at these pictures, they are so serene!

-blaine

Pearl Jude July 18, 2010 at 1:12 AM  

Hi I came here from flickr and i have to say you have an amzing photo journal. and these self portraits are beautiful.

Meg July 19, 2010 at 12:45 PM  

Thank you so much everyone! Really, your comments have really made my day :) You guys are all such great photographers so that's really flattering!

And that's true, Court. I suppose it does get pretty challenging sometimes, the whole "Who AM I?!" question, but we're still young and figuring it out (sometimes the hard way, surely).

Blaine, I am so happy you like them! The effect you depicted made me very happy that they could do that for you :)