Two Years

It's safe to say I'm sad today.

It's not a typical, parasitic sadness that overwhelms the inhabitant in every way shape and form. No, it's not like that. It's more of a peaceful, encompassing solace wrapping itself around me like a nostalgic patchwork quilt or a faded leather jacket tucked in the back of my closet. Memories tie themselves to each of my senses, and I find comfort in the preserved newness in the infinite webbing of patches and creases. If anything, I find this sadness one to embrace. Yes, it's like that.

Losing a loved one is perhaps the hardest thing a person can go through in life. Undoubtedly it has been for me, and to this day I find everything I do in my day to day life tying back to this one monumental event.

I took this picture when I was about thirteen or so, with a little point and shoot Canon in Nevada. Part of me wishes I could retake the picture with a huge fancy mother with a magical shutter speed and enough megapixels to blow it up wallpaper sized. Part of me wishes the budding "lets give it a go" inkling for photography I had then was already the indescribable passion I have for it now, allowing me to focus on just exactly I was taking the picture of, keeping in mind lighting and composition.

But mostly I don't. I dub this picture my starting point, and it's unbelievably special to me. The way his gaze branches outward, his stately pose in that jacket he couldn't bear but-you-can't-wear-Columbia-to-a-wedding. This will always be my absolute favorite.

Portraits. There's no way I'm the best at taking them, but I can't be the worst. And I can't help but feel the need to take as many as I can, because if I can capture even a piece of a person and give that piece to all of their loved ones, then I guess I feel like I did something right.

1.29.08

“You will begin to touch heaven, in the moment that you touch perfect speed. And that isn’t flying a thousand miles an hour, or a million, or flying at the speed of light. Because any number is a limit, and perfection doesn’t have limits. Perfect speed, my son, is being there.”

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Tell Her She's Beautiful

Today a wonderful, beautiful friend of mine, Megan (dubbed "Mowski") invited me to join this Facebook group Tell Her She's Beautiful , and I willfully accepted.

Although I think everyday should be Tell Her She's Beautiful day, I love the concept of this. Tell someone, anyone, that they're beautiful. I fully believe there isn't enough of this. I, for one, am definitely going to tell at least one person a day (preferably more) that they are beautiful.

I sadly have no pictures to edit, but I hope this will soon change. I can't wait to take some more of all the beautiful (ha, word of the day? I think yes) things and people around me. I seriously believe this is why I love taking portraits so much; I just want to make people see how beautiful they are. Most people freak out when they see a camera, and I want to take that fear away and show everyone how beautiful they truly are. Perhaps this is why I veer away from any photo manipulation-I find it ridiculous and takes away the point I find very crucial to photography, which is capturing a person in their entirety. Not that my "views" of photography are the only ones that matter by any means, this is merely my perspective.

So with this in mind, I decided to do some self portraits. For one, I never take self portraits. They make me nervous, I never know how to pose, and I always find tiny little details about my face or body to pick apart until I finally figure there's not a single physical aspect of myself I find likable, much less beautiful. I would have to say this is a normal fear amongst teenage girls. Crikey, it's an epidemic, really.

Screw that, I figured. I didn't pull out Gertie, my Canon Rebel (and my baby). I just flipped on my Mac Photobooth; a fairly simple photo application, and decided to take a self portrait. No editing. Just me.

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Kelby and Kite

Okay, I can't even say enough how wonderful these two are. Kelby and Kelsey are two lovely, talented people that I have encountered here at Texas State, and they make my camera so happy! I hate myself for taking SO long to upload these, I have been crazy lately.

Anywho, I hope that K&K enjoy these as much as I loved taking them :) and these were all taken in the middle of the night.

Side note. School has been going really well as of late. Stressful, but great! I have a new love of Anthropology. I mean, it's always interested me, but now I find myself reading the book for fun. Yeah, I know. I can only hope I can keep up with my art classes this semester, both of which seem really fun and interesting :)

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CJ and Cameron

Okay, so my picture taking opportunities as of late have been slim to none as of late (while at it, take away the slim). Safe to say this highly disappoints me, but my time management skills, or lack thereof, has prevented me from taking anything.

I've decided to somewhat assuage my photo dry spell by going through old pictures and editing them like crazy, hence this set of my beautiful roommate, CJ, and her boyfriend Cameron I took awhile back.

Oh, and may I add CJ said that she was not photogenic prior to this? Yeah, I know.

Oh! And I fiddled around with my settings and I hope that I fixed the whole comment thing? Apparently my blog was unable to be commented on before (thank you Victorio for the notice, by the way). Anywho, I hope that the comment box is now visible.

(this just makes me laugh, really)

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Lil J and Alyssa

Lil J has been a very prevalent face in my pictures over the past couple of years; she just gets it and I love her for it. So when she asked if I could take some pictures of her and her lovely friend Alyssa I jumped on board.

Okay, so we go out to the water and to my luck it gets dark immediately (tricky early winter sunsets). Afterwards we take some pictures in Mom and I's very ghetto styled portrait studio in our garage and I was happy with the results of just one studio light and a good backdrop. Speaking of, that backdrop is like, a funky brown and yellow mix to the natural eye. I love that it takes any new set of colors I want to throw at it. It can magically turn from brown to purple to blue like nobody's business.

Anywho, I hope Lil J and Alyssa like these :)

And on a side note: my blog has been driving me CRAZY lately. For one, I am still mourning my Tiny Pic deletion massacre *sigh* and now my pictures aren't even uploading all the way on my page. I don't know, I plan on doing something about this; I'm just not quite sure what yet. I'm considering making a website, something more legit, but I do not know.

Hope all is well.

Explored on Flickr!

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